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Good comebacks and insaults

Posted by harrisclinton97@yahoo.com on September 3, 2011 at 10:30 PM

1.

I'd like to see things from your point of view but I can'tseem to get my head that far up my @$$.

2.

Insult: You're a fail.

Comeback: So was your dad's condom.

3.

Shut up, you'll never be the man your mother is.

4.

You're just mad 'cause your mom has a bigger dick than you.

5.

Have you been shopping lately? They are selling lives at themall - you should get one.

6.

You should wear a condom on your head because if you're gonnaact like a dick you you might as well dress like one!

7.

Pardon me, but you've obviously mistaken me for someone whogives a damn.

8.

Shock me, say something intelligent.

9.

I don't know what makes you so stupid, but it really works!

10.

I'm busy now. Can I ignore you some other time?

11.

Man, I bet you were up all night, working on that one.

12.

Insult: You Failed! Comeback: Yeah, so did your mom'sabortion. :)

13.

I may be fat, but you're ugly, and I can lose weight.

14.

Insult: YOU SUCK! Comeback: AND YOU SWALLOW!

15.

Every time I'm next to you, I get a fierce desire to bealone.

16.

If I wanted a bitch, I would have bought a DOG!!

17.

I'd slap you, but that would be animal abuse.

18.

I'd like to help you out. Which way did you come in?

19.

Oh, I'm with a whore too, and by the way your Mom says hi. :)

20.

Sorry, can't put small objects in my mouth or I'll choke

21.

You're just mad cause your Tampon's in too far.

22.

If I would like to hear from an asshole, I'd fart!

23.

There are several people in this world that I find obnoxiousand you are all of them.

24.

You asked for my number and I said 1-800 kiss my ass

25.

Last time I heard that I was laughing so hard, I fell off mydinosaur

26.

I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard topronounce.

27.

If you want a good comeback go wipe it off your Mom's face.

28.

I've been called worse by better.

29.

You're not yourself today. I noticed the improvementimmediately.

30.

You are not the worst person in theworld, but until one worse comes along, you'll do.

61.

What did you have for breakfast? Bitch Flakes?

62.

You're as fake as a threedollar bill!

63.

I'm sorry, I don't talk to animals

64.

I could eat a bowl of alphabet soup and SHIT a betterargument than that.

65.

If ignorance is bliss, you must be the happiest person alive.

66.

Bully: Turn around and sit your ass down.

Victim: No you do it. Bully: i already am.

Victim: No your ass (point to their face) is right there.

67.

Is that your head or did your neck throw-up?

68.

Did the aliens forget to remove your anal probe?

69.

Life is but a game, and let me tell you, you suck at it.

70.

Don't look now, but there's one too many in this room and Ithink it's you.

71.

You used to be arrogant and obnoxious. Now you are just theopposite. You are obnoxious and arrogant.

72.

If you ever had a bright idea, it would be beginner's luck!

73.

You're so low, you have to climb up a ladder to reach thebottom.

74.

You must be the arithmetic man -- you add trouble, subtractpleasure, divide attention, and multiply ignorance.

75.

I haven't taken a shower. Tomorrow I'll be beautiful. You,however, are stupid and will be stupid tomorrow.

76.

His teeth are brighter than he is.

77.

You might as well were a tampon on your head because ifyou're gonna act like a pussy you might as well look like one too.

78.

Have you considered suing your brains for non-support?

79.

If your gonna be two faced, honey at least make one of thempretty.

80.

You're so full of shit your breath stinks!

81.

You're the cum your mother should have swallowed.

 

82.

If I said anything to you that I should be sorry for, I'mglad.

83.

I admire you because I've never had the courage it takes tobe a liar, a thief, and a cheat.

84.

And your cry-baby whiny assed opinion would be?

85.

You asked for my number I said.. 1-800 Dream On !!

86.

Your mouth is getting too big for your muzzle.

87.

If I wanted to see a bitch, I'd just buy a dog.

88.

You talk so much shit, I'm starting to smell it on yourbreath.

89.

Do you want me to accept you as you are, or do you want me tolike you?

90.

The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're anartist.

91.

I would say that you are barking up the wrong tree, but thatis your natural voice.

92.

If I'm ugly, we must be twins.

93.

You hear that? That's the sound of your balls not dropping.

94.

With breath like that, you shouldn't say anything at all.

95.

You're lying like a rug; dirty and on your back.

96.

You sound reasonable.. Time to up the medication.

You're just like a vacuum cleaner, loud and annoying!

98.

Lives are just games,and it looks like you haven't bought one yet.

99.

Nice come back, now wipe that off your chin.

100.

I can hear you with all that dick in you mouth.

101.

Believe me, I don't want to make a monkey out of you. Whyshould I take all the credit?

102.

Insult: You're gay!

You: You wish.

103.

If you've got a problem take it up with my ass, becausethat's the only one that gives a crap!

104.

Hey, that was quite a mouthful, but I guess you're used tothat sort of thing.

105.

Insult: You're a PUSSY!

Comeback: Well, you are what you eat.

106.

Did someone order a cunt? Because one's just showed up.

107.

I'm sorry, how small did you say your chode was again?

108.

FOR THE LAST TIME! Your mother left here at 9 this morning...Leave me alone!

109.

Glad you think I give a fuck but sorry, no such luck.

110.

If I wanted an ass's opinion I would have asked my donkey.

111.

If someone shoved my head up your ass, I'd live off of theair in your head.

112.

If I wanted my comeback I would have licked it of your Mum'stits last night.

113.

You cut me down I must confess but in your mouth my Dick willrest

114.

Don't let my fist hit you on the way down.

115.

Your ridiculous little opinion has been noted.

116.

I know you are nobody's fool, but maybe someone will adoptyou.

117.

You must be a girl, because you don't have any balls.

118.

If you talked anymore shit, you'd be shaped like a turd.

119.

Before you came along we were hungry. Now we are fed up.

120.

Why don't you go to the library and brush up on yourignorance?

121.

Me: Why do you have no dick.

You: I do.

Me: The one on your mom doesn't count.

122.

I heard that they tried to take an X-ray picture of your jaw,but all they got was a moving picture.

123.

Person: Nice comeback! You: If I wanted my comeback , I'd goask your mom.

124.

You're so dirty, you started the swine flu.

125.

My other ride is your mom.

126.

You will never be able to live down to your reputation!

127.

I hope you never get a tetanus shot; maybe you'll windup with lockjaw.

128.

You should toss out more of your funny remarks; that's allthey're good for.

129.

You don't believe in being artificial. You want people tohate you for yourself.

130.

I have a head pain from your mom screaming last night.

131.

I’ll try and hide my enthusiasm. How am I doing?

132.

I think you should live for the moment. But after that, I doubtI'll think so.

133.

What am I? Flypaper for freaks!?

134.

At least you are not obnoxious like so many other people --you are obnoxious in a different and worse way!

135.

You remind me of Moses. Every time you open your mouth, thebull rushes.

136.

Roses are red, violets are blue, I hate you, God does too.

137.

I admire your because I've never had the courage it takes tobe a liar, a thief and a cheat.

138.

I'm not kissing you even if your mouth is cleaner then thehumans

139.

I could’ve sworn I heard something. Maybe it was justescaping gas.

140.

Insult: You fail.

Comeback: So did your MOM getting into college.

141.

Hey, did you think up that line during your last circle jerk?

142.

Eventually, you will get what you asked for.

143.

At your speed, you'd better not stop your mouth too fast oryour teeth will fly through your cranium.

144.

You're acquitting yourself in such a way that no jury everwould.

145.

If you were a swine, you would be what you are now!

146.

Is that styling gel in your hair or KY?

147.

Did you eat a brain tumor this morning, cause you are justretarded.

148.

Did you eat a brain tumor for breakfast?

 

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17 Comments

Reply bob seymore
5:31 PM on July 6, 2012 
Hey these comebacks are amazing
like your mum in bed
Reply george
11:32 AM on July 21, 2013 
THATS WHAT SHE SAID ****** !!!!!
Reply chanukasandeepa
11:13 AM on July 30, 2013 
ur fat..... euwww
comeback: coz each time i fuck ur mum she gives me a cookie for giving here a better orgasm than ur dad :p
Reply goku
5:27 PM on October 10, 2013 
hell yeah
Reply The Creator of the Site "Clinton"
6:05 PM on October 10, 2013 
thanks guys and your cum backs are great too if you want some better ones go scrape the cum off your mom teeth
Reply tahhahahaahhaha
5:37 PM on November 12, 2013 
call me its 1-800 kiss my ass ahahahahahahaahahahahhahahahhaaa
Reply cw
3:42 PM on December 4, 2013 
enemy what y looking at

you something ugly
Reply emily
2:32 PM on December 7, 2013 
I have an insult.

Go away u ugly hound. Ur breathe smells like a trash can
Reply Steven RS
2:48 AM on December 22, 2013 
Insult: Were you dropped at birth?
Comeback: If I was dropped at birth, you got hit by a bulldozer.
Ha ha ha
Reply Just Fails :p
1:18 AM on January 3, 2014 
I bet the only time you got action was when your finger slipped through the toilet paper
Reply gabby
10:34 AM on January 3, 2014 
person: whatcha looking at?
you: (looking at the person) I have no idea?
Reply danielle
1:50 PM on January 13, 2014 
WOW.....this will really help me in this bug world with all these stupid people thinking they got the good stuff haha....ohhha yea! good comebacks!!!
Reply jordyndhuey
4:15 PM on January 24, 2014 
if a bitch is bitching on u just be like heres a quarter go by your self a different attude
Reply jordyndhuey
4:20 PM on January 24, 2014 
person:(damn baby what time do ur legs open)

you:(past your bed time)
Reply tyler
7:54 PM on February 15, 2014 
stfu
Reply Jack Stroup
9:58 AM on March 26, 2014 
149. That's what she said. AKA thats wht ur mom said
Reply Jack Stroup
10:02 AM on March 26, 2014 
That's what she said. AKA that's what ur mom said. Thats a comeback.